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Scott Bourne doesn’t have to buy any more iPhones because he owns so many they’ve started to breed
Scott Bourne doesn’t dial his iPhone, he stares at it and it dials itself. - PhoneBoy
There are two types of iPhones in this world: ones owned by Scott Bourne and ones that Scott Bourne has allowed to be owned by others. - PhoneBoy
Scott Bourne has an iPhone that he only uses as a reflective device to signal his private aircraft that he wants to be picked up.
– James Viscosi
The real reason Scott Bourne isn’t excited about iPhone’s $200 price cut — demand will soar and he can’t carry 2x more phones than he does today to protect his market dominating ownership position. - Mark Fuccio
A magician once tried the quarter behind the ear trick on Scott Bourne, but it didn’t work because there was already an iPhone waiting there.
Scott Bourne uses an iPhone instead of soap when he showers. He loves the fresh Apple scent. - Adrew Pyzdek
In related news, Scott Bourne has purchased his 999,416th iPhone. Stocks are on the rise. - Joe Rodricks
When Scott Bourne’s iPhone falls in the water, it doesn’t get wet. - Zach Holmes
Scott Bourne didn’t pay a $200 premium to be an “early adopter” of the iphone. Scott Bourne’s iPhone devalued the dollar. - Zach Holmes
Scotts Bourne’s iPhone can divide by zero. - Zack Holmes
Scott went up to the counter at the Apple Store to redeem his iPhone credit. When the Mac Genius asked what he wanted to purchase, Scott calmly stated, “The store… I want all of it.” One look at the credit amount and the Mac Genius replied, I’m sorry, I don’t think we have an Apple bag for this.” - Jason Beck
Scott Bourne has a photo-mosaic on his wall made entirely of iPhones. - Rich Everett
When Scott Bourne wants to shave he slams an iPhone on the ground and uses the broken display. - Jeff Meyerhoff
Scott Bourne cereal has chunks of Apple in every bite. Now with an iPhone in every box. - Joseph E.
I heard the government is considering opening up the 555 prefix to accommodate Scott Bourne’s iphones. - Anthony Rolle
Scott Bourne draws a huge crowd when he goes skeet shooting since on the rare occasion he misses there are iphones up for grabs. - Anthony Rolle
Scott Bourne just bought 6 more iphones today… because somebody stole his coasters. - Anthony Rolle
It’s been rumored that Scott Bourne turning on all of his iphones would be worse than crossing the streams. - Anthony Rolle
If you look closely, the Great Wall of China is actually constructed entirely of Scott Bourne’s discarded iPhones. - Jason J. Beaudoin